7 Surprising Mind-Body Tips To Help You Heal From Divorce

When it comes to divorce, the old adage “time heals all wounds” isn’t necessarily the whole story. Real healing doesn’t just come with the passage of time; it happens due to concerted effort and a divorce recovery plan.

Think of this plan as a toolbox, and the tools inside as strategies. You need to utilize a variety of mind/body techniques to process divorce trauma and move on.

Mind/Body Divorce Recovery Toolbox

Physical and mental health practitioners now know the mind and body aren’t separate, but are part of one continuum. That means that divorce trauma affects us mentally and physically. Many people insist they’re “fine” only because they’re cut off from their feelings – but those unacknowledged emotions then express themselves via somatic upsets: GI problems, sleep disorders, skin problems, and various aches and pains. The suggestions below are body-based tips designed to process stress and balance your mood.

Develop a morning routine

Jon Kabat-Zinn, the father of MBSR (mindfulness-based stress reduction), advocates meditating for 15 minutes first thing in the morning. If 15 minutes feels intolerable, begin with 5 minutes and increase the time as you become more comfortable with the process. To tame your monkey mind, use this easy breathing technique: inhale through your nose for 6 counts, hold your breath for 4 counts, then exhale through your nose for 8 counts. Exhaling longer than your inhale will activate your parasympathetic nervous system which is the part of the brain that calms you down.

Practice good sleep hygiene

Sleep disorders are a common side effect of divorce. If you struggle getting a good night’s slumber, there are plenty of non-pharmaceutical interventions that will help regulate your sleep. For starters, it’s critical to maintain good sleep hygiene. That means going to bed at the same time every night, keeping your bedroom dark, and getting off electronics at least an hour before bedtime. Do your worries grow louder in the quiet? Distract yourself by listening to a white noise machine or a sleep hypnosis app.

Drink enough water

Besides eating balanced meals to maintain good health, it’s imperative to drink enough water. Most people are not drinking the recommended 64 ounces a day. If you find yourself dehydrated (and there’s a good chance you are if you’re under chronic stress), get a water bottle that has ounces printed on the side.

Move your body

Gym workouts and sun salutations at a yoga studio are great. But if time and money have put a crimp in your workout routine, walking is a fantastic and free alternative. It’s also a lot kinder on your knees than jogging. What makes walking so beneficial? The rhythmic movement of your feet from right to left causes bilateral stimulation that helps balance brain activity, which can enhance a down mood and calm an anxious mind.

See a physical therapist

Chronic medical complaints such as GI problems, headaches, and backaches often need an integrative approach – meaning more than just medication – in order to resolve. Besides manually adjusting problem areas in their office, a good physical therapist can teach you exercises to practice at home to maintain benefits between sessions.

Ground yourself

Ruminating about the past or worrying about a future event that might not happen means you’re not aware of what’s actually going on. Practicing this simple grounding exercise will calm you down by shifting your focus to the present: look around the room and focus on three objects. Take time to describe the objects (either aloud or silently) in detail, noticing colors especially. Use this technique often, when you catch yourself “spinning out.” It’s a quick and easy way to self-regulate.

Put your hand on your heart

Feeling angry, sad, or anxious? Place your hand over your heart and notice the physical sensations under and around your hand. Do you feel warmth? Tingling? Do these sensations spread to other parts of your body? Keep your hand over your heart and breathe into that space. Notice how the exercise shifts your body and mood states. This deceptively simple gesture triggers self-compassion – the antidote to critical thinking, both towards yourself and others.

While these 7 tips provide a solid foundation for your recovery plan, remember that your toolbox has infinite space for other tools you collect on your way to divorce healing.

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