Reclaiming Yourself After Divorce: 5 Creative Ways to Heal
British singer-songwriter Lily Allen’s new album West End Girl is making headlines for its raw, unfiltered look at the unraveling of a marriage and the grief that follows. Her first record in seven years, it dives headfirst into the emotional fallout of her split from actor David Harbour, tracing themes of betrayal, gaslighting, identity loss, and the sometimes painful, messy work of starting over.
In a recent interview, Allen shared that she used the making of the album as a form of healing in her divorce. “Intimacy is messy… I’ve had a tough year,” she admitted.
While few of us are writing break-up albums heard by millions, the healing power of self-expression is accessible to anyone struggling to process their divorce. Whether through writing, movement, art, or simply rearranging your space, creativity offers a meaningful outlet that supports emotional release, reflection, and growth.
Ready to begin reclaiming your sense of self? Here are five therapist-recommended creative practices to help you reconnect to the core of who you are.
Externalize the Story
One of the most powerful steps toward emotional recovery after divorce is giving your story form by taking what’s been swirling around in your head and heart and putting it somewhere outside of yourself. Therapists call this externalizing the experience, and it’s a deeply validating and often transformative process.
When emotions are stuck inside – shame, grief, anger, regret – they can become overwhelming and hard to process. But when you tell your story in a tangible form, you begin to make sense of it. You shift from being consumed by your experience to witnessing it. Lily Allen’s album appears to be a form of this process.
However, externalizing your story does not require sharing it publicly (even on social media) or making it perfect. It simply means creating a safe space where your truth can live.
Some ways to begin:
- Write a journal entry describing what you’ve been through or how you feel right now.
- Draft a letter to your ex (you don’t have to send it) or to the version of yourself that went through the relationship.
- Record a voice memo where you speak freely – no script, no filter.
- Write a fictionalized short story where a character goes through something similar.
- Create a poem, sketch, collage, or timeline that illustrates your emotional journey.
Why it helps: When you externalize your story, you reduce its emotional charge. You gain perspective. You may even find strength or wisdom in the parts that once felt impossible to hold.
Therapist insight: Start with a simple prompt: “I was… I became… I will be…” Set a timer for 20–30 minutes and let the words – or images – come freely. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or structure. The goal isn’t to write a masterpiece; it’s to make meaning.
Move the Emotion Through the Body
Grief, anger, fear, and anxiety don’t just stay in the mind — they also live in the body. After a divorce, it’s common to feel the weight of emotional stress physically: tight shoulders, clenched jaws, shallow breathing, digestive issues, restlessness, or even full-body fatigue.
This is because the body stores emotion, especially when it hasn’t yet been expressed or processed. When a relationship ends, the body often absorbs the shock and carries the emotional burden long after the paperwork is finalized.
That’s why therapists often recommend creative movement as a form of emotional release (sometimes called dance movement psychotherapy or simply movement therapy). It’s not about formal exercise or dance technique — movement therapy it’s about giving your body permission to respond, release, and recalibrate.
Some gentle ways to start:
- Put on a song that resonates and let your body move freely and responsively, without choreography or mirrors.
- Do a full-body stretch in the morning or before bed, breathing into the areas that feel tight.
- Take a mindful walk and notice how your body feels as you move. What are you seeing? smelling? hearing? touching? tasting?
- Stand in your kitchen and sway, shake out your arms, or stomp your feet — whatever helps energy shift.
Why it helps: Movement provides a non-verbal path to healing. It bypasses the need for explanation and allows emotion to move through you — literally. This process helps release tension, calm the nervous system, and create a sense of embodied safety and presence.
Therapist insight: Choose one song a day that matches your emotional state: sad, angry, hopeful, tired. Let your body guide you in how you move. You don’t need to “perform.” This is for you. Movement is how the body tells the truth when words fall short.
Redesign One Part of Your Living Space
After a breakup, a shared home can feel heavy with what best be described as “emotional residue.” While it may not be feasible or necessary to change everything, reclaiming one small space can feel powerful.
The process is simple: Choose a corner, a shelf, or a room and transform it. Add a candle, a photo, a new pillow, a plant. Change the energy. Make it yours.
Why it helps: Your environment reflects your inner world. Small shifts in your space can lead to major emotional shifts.
Therapist insight: Call this your “healing space” or “creative corner.” Visit it often. Let it reflect the life you’re creating – not the one you’ve left.
Create a “Future Self” Mood Board
Some of the most common emotional struggles in divorce are uncertainty about the future, and a sense of loss over the life you once lived. Who am I now that I’m not married? A “future self” mood board offers a way to reimagine your life – visually and emotionally.
This board can be digital (Pinterest, Canva) or physical (magazines, scissors, markers). Collect images, sayings, map locations, etc. that reflect the version of your life that you want to grow into: confident, peaceful, playful, financially free, creatively fulfilled. There are no rules – or limits – this is your dream of what resonates most with you.
Why it helps: Vision boards create focus and hope. When the future feels abstract or overwhelming, visualization makes it feel real again.
Therapist insight: This isn’t about achieving a specific outcome. It’s about giving yourself permission to dream without someone else’s voice in the room.
Reflect with Regular Creative Check-Ins
Healing isn’t linear. Some days move fast, others feel stuck. Setting an occasional creative check-in gives you a clear future point to pause and reflect on how far you’ve come. Use that your check-in to look back at your journal entries, your mood board, your movement routines, or your redesigned space.
Ask yourself:
- What feels lighter now?
- What’s still hard?
- What am I proud of?
Why it helps: When change happens slowly, it’s easy to overlook. A check-in affirms that growth is happening—even when it’s subtle.
Therapist insight: Mark it with a ritual. Light a candle. Write a new entry. Buy yourself something symbolic. Celebrate your effort, not just your outcome.
Divorce is not just an ending; it’s a re-entry into yourself. Like Lily Allen, many people find that creativity becomes the bridge between what was and what’s next. It allows emotion to move, identity to resurface, and self-worth to rebuild.
You don’t have to be a musician. You don’t need a studio. You just need the willingness to show up and make something honest from the parts of life that have been taken apart.
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