Need Help Starting Over? Consider A Divorce Gift Registry
You created a wedding gift registry for the start of your married life. Now that you are going through divorce, is it time for a “divorce gift registry” to help you make this next big life transition?
Divorce registries, as the name implies, are a sort of mirror image of wedding registries, in which newly single people list items for friends and loved ones to purchase as gifts to help them establish a new home post-split.
The recent article, “Starting Over With a Divorce Registry,” published by New York magazine’s The Cut, explored this growing trend of giving gifts at the end of a marriage. As for why a registry of kitchen wares, bedding and a set of new lamps might be needed, some of it is practical as some spouses move into new spaces and simply need to stock back up. In other circumstances, one spouse remains in the home while the other spouse leaves, taking the furniture with them. Help replacing these items is welcome.
The other compelling reason behind the trend of divorce registries is the psychological drive for a fresh start. “Divorce brings inanimate objects to life. The sheets you slept on, the kitchen clock that oversaw your morning routine, the wooden spoon that stirred the chili — these can conspire against someone who is trying to start life over, threatening to suck them back through a wormhole to the past,” The Cut explained. In other words, a new set of sheets gifted by a friend might not just be a new set of sheets. For some, it’s a gift that helps to make a clean break with the past.
In practical terms, once the registry is created, it can be shared with friends and family privately or via social media, much like a “go fund me” collection. The person getting the divorce can start the registry, or it can be initiated and managed by a close loved one. Does this seem weird? As The Cut described, things like divorce registries may actually be an important step towards further destigmatizing divorce as a “failure” to keep hidden away and reframing it instead as a life transition to recognize and respect.
Are you considering a divorce registry? The Cut piece highlights businesses that specialize in the service, or you can go the simple route of starting a gift registry on Amazon or other online retailer. What can be in a divorce gift registry? Virtually anything, but if you need to start over in a new home, think about the basics:
Divorce Gift Registry Ideas
- Tableware (dinnerware, flatware, glassware)
- Kitchen appliances (blender, mixer, toaster, coffee maker, etc.)
- Cookware and bakeware (pots and pans, cutting boards, serving dishes)
- Bed and bath linens (sheets, towels, comforters, blankets)
- Home décor (wall art, picture frames, candles, vases, etc.)
- Small appliances (vacuum, iron, hair dryer)
- Household tools (hand drill, wrenches, hammer, etc.)
- Cleaning supplies (brooms, mops, laundry baskets, gift card for maid service)
- Child-related items (kids’ beds, bedding, toys, desk for homework)
- Outside/lawn maintenance (lawn mower, rake, shovel, patio furniture, grill)
- Technology (“Alexa” type smart speaker, Ring doorbell system, new TV)
- Gift cards to favorite stores or restaurants
Intangible gifts are priceless
Whether or not you jump on the trend of divorce gift registries for new housewares, nothing can replace the most valuable gifts anyone can receive in divorce: love and emotional support given freely by friends, family and other loved ones. Their caring gestures during this difficult time – whether it’s in the form of a shoulder to cry on, an extra set of hands to help you move, or a free night of babysitting – are truly priceless.
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